As a professional portrait photographer, I am often behind the camera, capturing the special moments of others. However, my husband and I recently celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary by renewing our vows, so it was my turn to step into the frame. We wanted to create some positive memories surrounding our marriage, our commitment to each other, and the family we’ve created. When Calvin & I first got married, we were young, and didn’t really have a lot of support. The majority of my family wasn’t in the picture, and reflecting back they say when you’re depressed you often either chop your hair off or dye it a different color. We got married on June 14th, 2009, and that was the month I decided to color my hair BLONDE. Like, really blonde. Yep, naturally black hair here- so for the longest time when there was a wedding portrait hanging in our home, the boys would ask why there was a photo of daddy kissing another woman… haha! 

In addition to not looking remotely like myself, I also weighed about the same thing I did when I delivered our babies. (It’s hard to tell in the photos - thankful for shapewear!) Looking back I think it was a culmination of being a young people pleaser who truly thought that I’d somehow impress those not there to come, when in reality that would never happen. We said for our 10th anniversary, we would renew our vows and create some new & positive memories surrounding our day. Well, let’s just say that didn’t happen. But the events that did happen in 2019-2021 allowed us to elevate to a sweet spot that we had not previously felt. We were so in sync, and were learning to let go of people and things that continued to steal our joy. At that point we said at 15 years… it’s happening! Now, I’m fairly certain that someone somewhere said “oh yea, hold my beer.” Because the next couple of years leading up to the beginning of 2024 were well, absolute hell. Marriage is a journey of ups & downs, and we wanted this renewal to celebrate our commitment to each other through all the things that could have torn us apart. 

For the renewal, we wanted something simple and intimate with just the four of us and Mama Sue (Calvin’s mom.) Preferably in the mountains, or on the lake. The planning process was quite interesting and as simple as we were hoping to keep it, as with any event, it got a little crazy, so I figured I’d share a little about our experience, the planning process, and some tips and tricks to help others planning their own special day.

Planning the Vow Renewal

Planning our vow renewal was like reliving the excitement of planning our wedding, except this time on a whole other mindset and understanding of prioritizing the people and things that prioritize us. Plus it helped that we are already married, and my expectations weren’t too high. I just genuinely wanted some photos of me in a pretty dress that fit, the boys walking me down the aisle, and a reflection of natural beauty in nature and then we would go on vacation and celebrate with a honeymoon redo (+2 kids haha!) *The honeymoon story is one I should actually probably write and publish, I’m sure it would be a marketing tool for all travel agents of what not to do when booking your honeymoon. Nonetheless, what I wasn’t expecting was how many people would find an interest in our plans and wanted to know if we’d have guests there. This was something I hadn’t really thought about because well, I honestly didn’t think that many people even paid attention. Couple that with the expense of adding guests and a venue, food, etc. It was much more than I was planning or budgeting for. 

Now, this next part I say with the most grace. People will come all out and volunteer to help with all the things. If you’re lucky enough for people to do what they say, then that’s a whole other level of luck. Thankfully, I did have a few that made offers and stuck by them. I learned a lot through this process, and as much as my mind wants to get angry or allow myself to sulk in the disappointments of people who bailed on us, I can’t. Why? Because despite all the things that happened the week leading up to the reception, the night of the reception, we were surrounded by nearly 80 people who came from multiple states to celebrate us. To share our excitement for this amazing milestone, and to remind us that the positive FAR outweighs the negative, and in the end it all worked out exactly the way it was supposed to. 

For context, we renewed our vows on Sunday June 2nd, 2024 & then held our reception party the following Friday June 7th, 2024. 

The Ceremony

Choosing the Date and Venue: We wanted the date to be significant, and preferably prior to our actual anniversary. For the venue, the photographer we worked with owns an elopement company, Golden Hour Elopements, and without even knowing suggested Stone Mountain State Park, which was actually one of the places we first hiked when we moved to NC, so it was perfect.

The Vendors: Choosing the right vendors is crucial for a seamless event. Here are the amazing vendors who helped bring our vision to life:

Photographer: While I couldn't photograph my own event, I entrusted the task to the talented Jenny Friedriches, who owns Golden Hour Elopements and is an exceptional photographer & person. She took our simple vision and eluded it to a beautiful sunset vow renewal ceremony, with all her partnered vendors, followed by a beautiful and tasty picnic to complete the day. She showered me with professional hair, make-up, and the best of the best in vendors.

Hair / Makeup: I had never had my hair and makeup professionally done, not even for my own wedding the first time. Lindsey Smith, is the artist on Jenny’s team and owner of Home Grown Beauty. She was such a gem to work with, and was not only down to earth, but efficient, and despite nearly spilling half my champagne down my face (somehow I missed my mouth after our toast.. haha!) my makeup was untouched. 

Florist: When I thought about flowers, I wanted natural. My favorite flowers are wildflowers. I told Jenny, imagine running through a flower field and pulling a beautiful mix of flowers to put together, that was my vision. Jennifer Collins, who owns Cedar House Farms, went above & beyond. If you haven’t visited their farm, add it to your list. She is affordable, a local business owner, and an incredible human.

Picnic: Our picnic was provided by Grazing Your Table Charcuterie, and Humble Bee Shoppe. They created the most beautiful display and it was so tasty! It was the perfect way to end the evening.

Videography: MJM Videography with Maverick Miles & his wife Carson. They were SO much fun and I just know the video they put together will be amazing. *Stay tuned. I’ll update once I get the video back! :)

Officiant: Sue with Wildflower Vows was the absolute sweetest. We spent several hours on the phone leading up to the renewal ceremony discussing plans, timelines, and she was just so down to earth, and helped bring everything together. 

The Dress: Finding the perfect dress was a fun part of the process. I wore a beautiful gown made by Essense of Australia and purchased at  Lily Rose Boutique in Cornelius, NC. I told our attendant, I wanted a dress that my husband would open his eyes and say “holy shit!” Something to make him speechless after fifteen years, two babies, and still make him jaw drop. I wanted something fitted, but with a trane. Something with a boho-ish vibe. Almost a collection of things not normally together, as odd as that sounds, it was exactly my dress. It was fitted, with the classic buttons down the back through the entire trane, lace overlay, a sheer open back, and it fit me like a glove. (*To assist in helping make sure it fit like a glove, Ada who is a phenomenal seamstress and owns Comfi Fit Alterations in Mooresville, NC did an amazing job fine tuning a few things for me, and she was super quick and affordable!) Oh, and when he opened his eyes… his first words were in fact “oh shit.” #winning.

The Suit: I wanted Calvin to look and feel like the amazing man he is. I wasn’t really sure which “look” I was going for other than wanting him to feel sexy and just as good as I did. Our boys already had navy blazers & khakis as well as light blue button ups, so that was easy. For Calvin, I had found a photo on Pinterest of a bride & groom in the mountains, her dress actually somewhat resembled the dress I thought I would have, and the groom was wearing a white button up, white fitted pants, a navy blazer, and some loafers. Calvin already had the the navy blazer, and a white button up, but I knew my husband and I knew he likely wouldn’t want to keep that blazer on for the reception, and I didn’t want him chancing white on white with wings and meatballs when that time came, so we opted for a light blue button up to match the boys. The pants were from Shein, surprisingly they fit perfectly and weren’t too thin or anything. The shoes, they were so hard. The specific ones in the photo had the little tassel and were a little more boujee than the vision, but why they make mens dress shoes with non-slip GRIP souls I’ll never know. Like, how are you supposed to dance when you can’t slide your feet. Nonetheless, two days prior to the vow renewal ceremony, Ross came in clutch with a shoe save. 

The Details

Invitations: I actually created & printed our invitations on Canva. I ordered our envelopes, little inserts, and invite sleeves all from Amazon! I used Zola for collecting everyone’s contact information, creating & sharing a registry, and posting our renewal website for guests to see accommodations, etc. We were very happy with all of them, and it made it super easy for guests!

Favors: For party favors, I ordered these cute envelopes that said “Grow with LOVE”, stickers that said “Thanks for Celebrating with Us!” and filled them with wildflower seeds! Again, all from Amazon! 

Special takeaways from our Vow Renewal I recommend

1. Plan a Backup for your Backup: To avoid stress about weather or anything else the day of, have a backup for your backup- including vendors.  

2. Personalize Your Vows: We bought the cutest vow books from Amazon, and wrote our vows to each other, and it was perfect. We said what we first loved, what made us love more, and what we look forward to, plus some other mushy things, I highly recommend. 

3. Focus on the Memories: Incorporate elements from your wedding day to bring back memories, but also add new elements that reflect your growth as a couple. We did a fun canvas painting where myself, my husband, our boys, and mama Sue all “splattered” paint on a canvas that we had taped a heart to. Once the paint dried we removed the painters tape to reveal a beautiful white heart amongst the paint, and then I dried my flowers and will be adding them to the canvas. *I’ll post a complete photo for visuals once I finish it. :)

The Reception Party

Our reception was simple, fun, and full of love. I would say this was the part that was the hardest to keep my sanity with. Mainly due to last minute RSVPs, vendor cancellations, and just trying to combat inflation in general. 

Shoutout to Our Reception Vendors

Venue: The Hilton Garden Inn, Mooresville NC

Photographer: Well, this person canceled at the last minute, so we used an app for guests to upload their photos & videos through a QR code and I was able to make a recap video. It was nice, but a lot of extra work, so hopefully this wouldn’t happen to you ;)

Flowers: For the centerpieces, I actually had plans on getting to Jen’s flower farm, but ran out of time, so I got fresh flowers from Publix and did the bundles 3 for $12 and mixed and made my own bundles. - It was beautiful.

Food: This was another last-minute cancelation- (*I’m telling you, it was a week.) Nonetheless, Publix came in strong with cupcakes, dessert platters, meat and fruit trays, cookies, and more. The venue (The Hilton Garden Inn)’s on site restaurant made a variety of dishes as well, the biggest hits were the meatballs and wings! YUM! We wanted a light grazing table, nothing heavy so people wouldn’t feel obligated to sit and eat. We wanted people up and dancing.

DJ: CJ Kelly, owner of DJ CJ Entertainment, rocked the house! He literally was AMAZING and kept everyone moving. He matched our energy and was SO good!!! I can’t say enough good things!

Hair/ Makeup: Chloe Brinkley- She was absolutely a rockstar. She did the most beautiful braid and my makeup looked so natural but beautiful. Local to Mooresville, I can't recommend her enough. 

Conclusion

Renewing our vows was a beautiful way to celebrate 15 years of marriage. It reminded us of our commitment to each other and allowed us to create new memories with our loved ones. Whether you're celebrating a milestone anniversary or simply want to reaffirm your love, a vow renewal can be a wonderful, meaningful experience. If you're planning your own vow renewal, I hope these tips and our story inspire you. Here's to many more years of love and happiness & remember… at the end it’s not about who doesn’t show up, or even who lets you down… it’s about YOU, YOUR STORY & those who prioritize you and your family and showed up.